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Illustration by Neal Stepp |
ISLA MAYBE EATS THE ALPHABET
by Sharon Whitehill
As Isla Maybe was lunching one day
On a bowl of alphabet soup,
The noodles emerged from the bubbles to say,
"Please don't think of us as a group!"
"I'm essential to antelope, adder, and ape,
Announced A; "you need me to read of each beast.
"I contribute to berries and beans," burbied B,
"On which you, Isla Mae, often feast."
At this Isla Maybe stopped eating and stared.
"Can the alphabet talk?" questioned she.
And a third pretty noodle rose up and declared,
"We all help you create!" (This was C.)
"I introduce dishes and diapers and dolls,
And dawdle and dwindle and doodle,
And dolphins and dragons and doorstops and drums!"
(This was D, though disguised as a noodle.)
"Egad!" exclaimed Isla, excited and thrilled.
"Indeed, I will lend you my ears!"
"And your eyebrows and elbows and eyes, if you please."
Said Miss Maybe, "You're E, it appears."
"And I'm F," frowned a fat little noodle named Fritz,
Who seemed famished as well as fatigued,
"So feel free to feed me with figs and French bread."
Hearing this, Isla Mae was intrigued.
"What a goofy gourmet," giggled little Miss G,
Who herself preferred gravy and grits,
"But as I'm a good girl who's always polite,
I shall keep that opinion from Fritz."
But by now Isla Mae had begun to grow pale,
And her knees, when she stood, were quite weak.
"How can pasta express an opinion?" she cried;
"More than that, how can bowls of soup speak?"
"Hell's bells," harumphed H, "have a heart, Isla Mae.
We have hoped here to help give you proof
Of how alphabet letters make hundreds of words
Such as hex, helicopter, and hoof."
"I'm your own special letter, sweet Isla," said I.
"I'm inquisitive, impish, inspired,
Independent, intelligent, interesting, too-
And ill-tempered only when tired."
Isla Mae took a seat and reached for her juice,
Judging J would next jump from the bowl.
"I 'm a joy to the child who was born in July,"
Jested he; "telling jolly good jokes is my role!"
"You're a keen little kid--I shall give you a kiss,"
Cried a K from a kernel of corn.
"No, let me," lisped an L, "for without love I shall
Be lonely as well as lovelorn."
"I am miffed, Isla Mae, that you shun M & M's,"
Mocked a militant morsel named Mort.
But a simple mistake was the cause of his mood,
Now made mellow by Isla's retort.
"My dear Mort," she replied, "as I'm fully aware,
M's are marvelous! Please don't be mad.
Munching on mushrooms or melons is great;
It's not M's, it's just candy that's bad."
"So old M gets eight lines, leaving no room for me,
Grumbled N, clearly feeling left out.
"Don't be negative, Nell," others urged from the broth,
"For we need you, without any doubt!"
"0 is often obscured, but we're proud of her, too;
Every letter has something to teach.
And is P going to whine because 0 stole her line
When P's perfect for pear, plum, and peach?"
"Such rhetorical questions, when posed by this group,
Quacked a Q (who resembled a duck),
"Quickly quantify quadrangles in a quadrille.
(If you quote me, I wish you good luck!)"
Isla felt a great urge to be rescued from Q,
Which an R with red hair saw her needing.
"One who's rubbed the wrong way by such rambling talk,"
He remarked, "will return with relief to her reading."
As R spoke, Isla Mae saw the sun in the sky
Straight above, and she knew it was noon.
But before she could say so, some sentences spilled
From an S which was stuck to her spoon:
"When you were still small and unable to speak,
You loved stories by Sendak and Seuss.
But as you grow up you'll seek sagas like those
That star Odin, Osiris, and Zeus."
"Aye, 'tis true," trilled a T with a thick Scottish brogue,
"And please trust any title with T,
From The Tempest to Thunderhead, Tik Tok of Oz,
Or the Wrinkle in Time trilogy."
"Tell your uncles to use U more often," urged U
(Who struck Isla as quite a go-getter),
"For ultimate, unguent, unscathed, and unique
Are all words that begin with my letter!"
"V comes next," Isla Maybe reminded herself;
"I shall speak a few V-words to please him."
But when vampire and venom arose in her mind,
She doubted that these would appease him.
"Try vanilla!" cried V, as if reading her thoughts;
"Try valentine, velvet, or Venus!"
Warbled wise W, "Let's waste no more time-
Let us whisper book titles between us."
"I like Wind in the Willows and Watership Down,"
Said Isla, "and Alice in Wonderland, also.
And of course I use words to write stories myself."
Well, this really made W's pulse go!
"You can xerox the stories you write--did you know?"
Piped up X, who disliked being meek.
"Yes, yes, my dear X," interrupted a Y,
"And xantho means 'yellow' in Greek."
"I won't bore you with zebras or zodiacs, then,"
Said a Z, whose name, oddly, was Paul.
"But your zest, Isla Mae, for your alphabet soup
Has brought great satisfaction to all."
"Come, now eat us all up--that's what noodles are for,"
They all cried. "We will nourish you well."
And as each of them dove headfirst into the broth
All the magic drained out of the spell.
So obedient Isla reached for her spoon,
For they'd said they were glad to have met her;
And she knew from now on, whether lunching or not,
She'd be thankful for each unique letter.
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